i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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