lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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