ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
