i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
