shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
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you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
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The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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