you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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