how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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