I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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