remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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