I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
