i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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