Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
