I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
