found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
