What did we do last night that was yellow?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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