absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'd cum for enchiladas.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
