How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
