moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize