Sry I called you an 8
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
