Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
