my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
