i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
