my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize