No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He uses pillows to masturbate.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
