i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
