You're completely useless in the revolution.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
