It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
