Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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