Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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