The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
