You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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