I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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