Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize