i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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