I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
