You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
COCAINE IS GR8
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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