dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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