hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
