Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
