You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
