The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
