he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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