he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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