just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
