Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize