My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
