I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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