At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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