i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
