You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
