I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
smell my finger.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
All the doctor said was why
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
