Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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