how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
